


Girl Talk

by blebleble



Category: Persona 3
Genre: Gen, and says stupid stuff when he's tired which is all the time, chidori is mentioned, conversations late at night that will never be spoken about ever again, junpei is bropei, makoto is santa who brings people weapons, mostly comedy again, pointless banter, shinji is a tsundere, unsubtle references to femc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-10
Updated: 2015-07-10
Packaged: 2018-04-08 15:06:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4309866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blebleble/pseuds/blebleble
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The girls are chatting and having “girl talk” upstairs. The guys are barred from entering and is therefore stuck downstairs. Mostly pointless banter. Kinda gay, kinda not. Mostly comedy and gameplay references regarding weapon types and armor.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Girl Talk

**Author's Note:**

> Had this idea and it kind of... grew into this. I hope it's funny. I'm setting this at around sometime in September.

“Hello Iori, would you like to join us?”

“No senpai! Women only! Aigis, make sure he doesn't try to listen in.”

“Understood.”

With an apologetic shrug from Mitsuru and persistent shooing from Yukari, Junpei was banished unceremoniously from the second floor lounge. Feeling dejected at both not getting his Mad Bull and his shot chances of listening in to some juicy girl secrets with Aigis on the watch, Junpei slunked back to the first floor lounge, where he slumped into the couch.

Across from Junpei, Akihiko looked up from where he was polishing his boxing gloves, “they kicked you out huh?”

Junpei groaned, “ they're having girl talk.”

“I just hope they wont take long. Can't go to bed if they wont let us into the second floor,” Akihiko said absentmindedly, attention already back on his boxing gloves.

“Aren't you curious about what they're talking about though?” Junpei shot up. He couldn't believe Akihiko sometimes. They've practically got the school's most popular girls living under the same roof and his senpai doesn't even bat an eye. Maybe it was different for Akihiko because he's usually surrounded by fangirls at school, but sometimes his indifference in presence of cute girls makes Junpei wonder Junpei if it meant Akihiko was the coolest person ever or the densest person ever.

“Why would I be interested in that?”

“Well, according to movies, girl talk usually involves girls talking about guys,” Junpei said slowly, trying to draw out some interest from Akihiko. Akihiko made a noncommittal sound, but Ken came over from where he was sitting at the long table, eyes flashing with curiously. “But why would they only talk about guys?”

“Uh, you know, to share who they like and stuff,”

“I don't get it, wouldn't they just be friends then?”

“They-- how can I explain – Ah... you're too young for this stuff, and put that coffee down it's too late in the night to be drinking that – ”

“Don't treat me like a kid!”

“They should hurry up, it's almost Ken's bedtime,” Akihiko interjected, glancing up to the second floor.

“If we're not going to Tartarus tonight to train,” Junpei added over Ken's protests that he can stay up as long as anybody else in the dorm. He reached over and patted Ken's head, but it was swiftly dodged. The kid has been working on his agility.

The words “Tartarus” and “train” seemed to pique interest in Akihiko as he finally straightened up, but his expression remained gloomy. “I haven't heard anything from Fuuka, and Leader hasn't been back since school. I doubt we're getting any training tonight.”

“But senpai, listen,” Junpei was suddenly struck by an idea, and began talking before he had a chance to process whether it was a _good_ idea or not, “We can still train in the dorm. Let's call this a stealth mission – we try to get as close to the girls without letting them know we're here and – ”

“No.”

“B-but why?”

“Mitsuru's there. I like to keep my limbs.”

Junpei slumped back, frustrated by this lack of cooperation from his male compatriots. He was bored, his video game consoles were in his room on the floor that he was barred from entering until the girls were done with their “girl talk”. As much as he hated to admit it, without Yukari around to tease there wasn't much to do. Plus, any mention of listening into the girls' potentially juicy conversation kept on being shot down by the world's densest brick wall of a senpai and a ten year old prepubescent kid. Junpei was starting to wonder if he was the only male with functioning hormones around. He huffed.

“Fine, we'll just sit around. Like always.”

“Junpei,” Ken said slowly, frowning his small face in thought, “did you want to talk about what guys you liked? Is that why you want to join the girls?”

“WHAT?”

“Really Junpei? Wouldn't have thought.”

“Akihiko-senpai! No!”

“Was there something wrong with what I said?” Ken asked.

“Why on earth would I want to talk about guys? I don't like guys! Even if I did I have Chidori!”

“Then why do you want to listen in to the girls so much?”

Junpei was spared from answering the potentially complicated (but very simple, actually, but since his audience was the world's densest brick wall and a prepubescent child)question by the dorm door opening and the return of their leader, dragging behind him what seemed to be a sports bag twice his size.

“I'm bac--”

“Where have you been?” Akihiko demanded as soon as Makoto stepped over the threshold. A faint look of dull surprise flashed briefly over his deadpan face, or the visible half that wasn't covered by hair.

“You kind of smell like smoke, were you at Esca--”

“I was with a monk.” he answered quickly, dumping the bag on the coffee table, “I also got some stuff for Tartarus.”

Akihiko made quick work opening it and going through its contents while Makoto dropped onto the seat beside Junpei and leaned back into the back of the sofa, half closing his eyes. “Sometimes I wish you guys would check your phones once in a while so I could get some help carrying this stuff back...” he mumbled, rubbing his arms, clearly exhausted from carrying the heavy load.

“Sorry dude,” Junpei said sheepishly, “my phone's in my room. Can't go up there right now, the girls are having a 'girls only' chat on the second floor lounge.”

Makoto opened one eye. Or two, it's hard to tell when you can't see the other one. “Oh?”

“Yeah, and I've been trying to explain to these two why it's important we need to know what they're talking about.”

Makoto sat up straighter. Eyes (eye) glancing up. “I'm interested,” he said.

“See?” Junpei said triumphantly, finally having someone else backing him up, but when he looked over at Akihiko and Ken, it was clear they had not heard a single word he said. They were gleefully and suspiciously rifling through the stash of weapons and armor Makoto had brought back.

“This one's cool! It looks dangerous!” Ken exclaimed, holding a spear twice the size of his small body.

“It kind of looks like Feather Hawk's weapon from last week's episode,” Junpei said, recognizing the shape. Ken blushed furiously.

“R-really? I wouldn't know, I-I don't watch Phoenix Rangers...”

Ken's love of Phoenix Rangers Featherman X was perhaps the dorm's second worst kept secret.

“Did you get any new gloves?” Akihiko asked, carefully placing down an axe. Makoto sprung up.

“Oh yeah, I almost forgot!” Makoto dug around in the bag, and a few seconds later, pulled out and handed a pair of gloves to Akihiko. Junpei placed a hand over his mouth to prevent himself from snickering too loudly.

“I got these as a gift the other day, I think it'll really help” Makoto added, deadly serious. Or as deadly serious as one who is presenting what looked like the world's most adorable hand puppets to Gekkoukan's boxing champ to be used as weapons could be. It was really hard to tell when you can only see half of somebody's face.

“Is... this a test of endurance?” Akihiko asked suspiciously, but accepting the gloves all the same, “they're... really soft, I don't know if they'll do much damage... but I guess that means I just gotta keep getting stronger...”

“I've been told they have a charm effect. To maximize this, I got some new armor too...”

Curious, Junpei began going through the stack of neatly folded but suspiciously familiar looking armor. Very familiar. In fact –

“Dude! These are _our swimsuits_!”

“I got them from Officer Kurosawa.”

“ _Why does Officer Kurosawa have our swimsuits?!”_

“I don't know! But I wasn't going to let him _keep_ them!”

Usually armor brought from Kurosawa simply looked like Gekkoukan uniforms with some enhancements. It was always kind of suspicious that they were tailored to fit the SEES members perfectly, but Junpei had always assumed it was simple thoughtfulness, but now...

“This could be an interesting training technique,” Akihiko pondered seriously, stroking the Jack gloves. Junpei wondered if he was doing that consciously or if the gloves really were as soft as they looked, “to have minimal armor coverage would mean we would be more vigilant about incoming danger. It may improve our reaction time, even the lightness and flexibility of the material may increase our agility. I had been wondering if we were becoming more reliant on the quality of armor and weapons, this could be a chance to test out our true abilities on the battlefield.”

“... right,” Makoto said.

Junpei made a mental note to check his own closet for missing swimsuits once he got back to his room. He knew it was practically futile, knowing the state of his room he'd never notice if anything had gone missing, but it was worth a shot. Pushing the thought of laundry theft out of his mind, Junpei suddenly realised something else.

“So is it just our swimsuits or...?”

“The girls' suits are in there too,” Makoto answered Junpei's question and yanked the swimsuit pile back from Junpei and placed it it carefully into a bag, “don't touch them, I'm probably in trouble for having them as it is, I don't want to give the girls' any more reasons to suffocate me in my sleep.”

“Hey man, we don't know if they want to suffocate you in your sleep. You know how we can find that out? By going to the second floor and listening in- I can almost guarantee they're talking about what boys they like –”

“If you want to be executed by Mitsuru then be my guest,” Akihiko snapped out of his musing to reprimand Junpei, who held his hands up defensively, “why do you want to listen in on them talk about boys so much anyway?”

“I'm 17 years old, it's a natural curiosity,” Junpei looked over at Makoto for reinforcement, who simply shrugged.

“I'm kind of curious too,” he admitted.

“If you're curious why not just ask?”

Junpei sputtered. Akihiko was truly clueless when it came to girls. He wasn't cool at all. Just as Junpei was searching his mind for a way to explain why asking a girl which guy they were interested in was a surefire way to get kicked in the crotch or at least a slap to the face, Makoto spoke up first, staring directly at Akihiko.

“Fine then, which guy would you date?”

“...huh?” Akihiko was caught off guard.

“What?” Junpei was too.

“Guys can date guys?” Ken looked completely lost.

“Now you know why you can't just ask that,” Makoto said matter-of-factly, and leaned back into the sofa.

“Hm, I suppose,” Akihiko concurred, nodding slowly, “It might not be the most efficient way of getting an answer out of someone if they don't have an answer ready.”

Junpei groaned. Akihiko managed to completely miss the point. Sometimes he wondered if Akihiko was the battle robot instead of Aigis.

“How about this then: which girl would you date? Anyone you like?” Junpei asked trying to make Akihiko see his point.

“Ken, time to go to bed,” Makoto said, prodding Ken towards the stairs.

“Is this because you guys think I'm too young to listen to this?” Ken protested as Makoto tried to usher him up the stairs.

“No it's because it's almost eleven and you need to sleep,” Makoto said smoothly. At that moment the front door opened and Koromaru bounded in, followed by Shinjiro, “see? Even Koromaru's back from his walk. It's pretty late, we can't go to bed because the girls are up there but they won't mind you going upstairs.”

Ken mumbled something incoherent, and disappeared up the stairs with Koromaru.

“What were you guys doing you needed to send Ken to bed for?” Shinji asked, eyeing the three males suspiciously. Junpei balked slightly at his intimidating senpai's stare.

“Aragaki-senpai! We were, erm,” he started.

“They asked me which girl I would date,” Akihiko answered, frowning deeply in thought, “I don't understand the question. I wouldn't date, it's a distraction from my training.”

“God, Aki, you're an idiot,” Shinjiro sighed deeply, “but you're right, girls complicate life.”

“Are you speaking from experience, Aragaki-senpai?” Makoto asked innocently and Junpei has to hand it to Makoto for having the balls to ask Shinjiro that. Maybe that kareoke place he frequented really did have courage boosting powers.

“I don't have to tell you,” Shinjiro grunted.

“So who is it you have the eyes on?” Makoto continued, seemingly unaware of the darkening aura surrounding Shinjiro. Makoto tended to be almost suicidally bold, but still Junpei had to pull down the brim of his hat over his eyes for he didn't think he could watch what was about to unfold.

“Nobody. I'm leaving,” was Shinjiro's curt reply. Junpei let out a breath of relief but then –

“What if Akihiko senpai was a girl? Or if I was a – ”

“Shut _up dude you're gonna get killed-”_

“-- _Leaving!”_ Shinjiro practically shouted, and thundered up the stairs. They heard something brief said by Aigis, and the door slamming. Junpei stared at the stairs, and back at Makoto, who shrugged, then yawned.

“It was funnier last time,” he said through the yawn.

“Last time?” Junpei's voice cracked from either fear or relief, he didn't know which. Akihiko raised an eyebrow, but Makoto waved them off.

“Now we know how to get Shinji enraged. It's useful if we ever need an attack and speed boost,” Akihiko said thoughtfully, “Shinji's weapon makes him slower than average, it'll definitely be to our advantage.”

“We'll have to ask Fuuka if he's really enraged though, he might've just been distressed or panicked, or even afraid because he ran away pretty quickl-”

“Anyway, senpai,” Junpei sighed, hoping to get the topic off of battles, “you haven't really answered our question. Who would you date out of all of us?”

“I just said I wouldn't let anything distract me from my training. Why am I the only one getting asked? Who would you two date?”

“I have Chidori,” Junpei pointed out, “she's not exactly opening up to me yet... but I really like her.” He couldn't help the small blush of happiness forming on his face when he thought of Chidori. There was just something about her that made him want to be around her and make her happy.

“And you?” Akihiko asked Makoto.

“Hm,” Makoto's eyes (eye) flicked towards the stairs to the second floor, “I don't care which. They're all great.”

“Even Yuka-tan?” Junpei was surprised, “Man okay I guess she is pretty popular. Akihiko-senpai, you still haven't answered the question though.”

“I have to choose?” Akihiko sighed, “Makoto. Or Aigis. They can help me train.”

Makoto made a noise between a laugh, a snort and a yawn, and Junpei threw his hands up.

“C'mon senpai take it more seriously! You've never thought of dating Kirijo-senpai? Even if you had to pick a guy I thought you would've picked Aragaki senpai since you seem much closer to him -”

“Mitsuru's... scary,” Akihiko frowned at Junpei, “and urgh, I've known Shinji since forever, it'd be weird. What about you Junpei, if you had to pick a guy.”

Thrown off by the question, Junpei sputtered, but Makoto piqued up.

“He'd date you. All through April and May all Junpei would talk about is how cool yo-”

“Dude, shut up!”

“-ere, boxing champ and your fangirls-”

“Shut up!” Junpei lunged at Makoto trying to shut him up with a cushion. Makoto was evidently too tired to fight back, because he fell silent almost immediately. Junpei took off the cushion, worried he might've accidentally killed him. Makoto seemed fine, save for the messed hair, which infuriatingly looked better than it did before.

“Enough about me, you have to pick now,” Junpei pointed at him, anything to keep the topic off of himself and avoid eye contact with Akihiko. Makoto blinked slowly.

“Aragaki senpai.” Silence. “He cooks.”

“That's true,” Junpei admitted, sinking back into his seat. The fact that Shinjiro loved cooking and was the best at it was the dorm's actual worst kept secret. Everyone and their dog knew that. Especially the dog.

Hard to keep secrets like that when the dorm has a convenient dog-translator in the form of Aigis around.

“... but I guess in battle I'd want Akihiko-senpai around,” Makoto mused, “Aragaki-senpai's kind of reckless with his health, at least Akihiko-senpai knows when to heal himself...”

“You're actually ranking us by battle aptitude?” Junpei asked incredulously.

“It's not a bad idea actually,” Akihiko leaned forward, “cooperation is vital to a partnership. Balance in battle might be proof of that.”

“I mean, no offense Junpei, but if my partner gets charmed, I'd rather get punched by a Jack Frost hand puppet than get sliced by a broadsword or cleaved with an axe,” Makoto rambled, seemingly lost in thought, “so I'm not only looking at attack strength...” he yawned, “this is getting weird. I'm going to bed. Help me carry these things upstairs.”

“What about the girls?”

“It's been silent for a while, I think they're done.”

Junpei rubbed his eyes. It was getting pretty late. Akihiko murmured in agreement, putting the displaced equipment back in the bag. It was then Junpei noticed something was missing.

“Hey wait-a-min, where did the hand puppets go?”

“I think Aragaki-senpai took them.”

“Why...?”

“I dunno.”

They gathered up the equipment and carried it back up the stairs. The girls had left the second floor lounge, so they made it to their rooms without incident. Come morning all of them would vehemently deny any type of conversation that occurred last night. 

 


End file.
